Find an hour a day to just 'be'

Blog 5 – Take time out for bonding and play

You need to re- energise yourself daily to take on the physical and emotional project of parenting. Doing whatever you can to find an hour a day where you are not rushing around will help a lot.

You may need extra support as you follow through with your self-nurturing. See if you can arrange affordable help with any jobs you can outsource so you can lighten your parenting load.

Can you ask a neighbour’s teenager to come over two or three afternoons a week to tidy up the house or to wash a sink full of dishes, or fold the washing? Let your usual standard of cooking go, and serve very simple meals—nachos, bolognaise, soup, nutritious bread cheese and cucumbers for dinner?

Can you decide not to clean the house every day and just do a quick tidy up and perhaps a speedy hour of cleaning once a week? Maybe get a cleaner in to do a really good job monthly.

We heartily approve of imperfect housekeeping, when more connection, relaxation and family fun is the goal. All those things can wait if you’re brave enough to let them. Put being a perfect home keeper, on hold for a while so that you can do the important tasks of play, and conversation while bonding with your angels.

Be aware when you need to take pressure off

If there Is too much pressure – take it off

If you have assigned your child to doing big boy jobs and he was going well but now he is not then you can relieve his anxiety by helping him a bit more for a while.

All boys love the idea of being a big boy but sometimes the reality is, that he still really wants to be your little boy. Why? He remembers when you adored him, always smiled when you looked at him and helped him with every little thing. He misses that. Maybe the transition was a tad too speedy for his emotions to catch up. Helping him to see that he can be a big boy and still adored and giving undivided attention when you are interacting with him is the key here.

Remember to talk and tell him stories about when he was a baby and what a sweet child he is and how much happiness he has given you, just in conversation. Then perhaps how proud you and daddy are that he is growing into such a kind and caring big boy. The idea is to make sure he feels adored and to help rise him to his higher self, his best self. Here he can know your pride in him as well as being proud of himself.

This is a very different way of helping his self - esteem than constant praising, while looking at your phone. It is more like showing and teaching him ‘how we treat each other in this family” – with appreciation.

Working Out What You're Working With

Check out the links above to get some clarity on how you and your child can learn to fit together with less stress. Being a parent is definitely not a one size fits all deal. Understanding who your child is from an early age is paramount to knowing what works best for all concerned and keeps you in sync.. Keeping life easy and simple is how I like to do it. 

Take a Massage Selfie to Soothe the Soul

If you feel that you need a break but you have no time then read on. 

Do you sometimes feel that you are at loggerheads with your little uns? Then maybe it's time to spoil yourself and them with a mini foot massage. It's grounding and gives you all a minute to connect in a loving way. 

By doing this together you can stop all the madness anytime of day.

Sit down with a beautiful aromatic oil and massage away your troubles. Strangely enough, when you take a moment to relax everything else settles too. A foot massage has been used for centuries for relaxation, babies love it, toddlers love it and teenagers will love you for it.

When things get out of control, get some oil, grab a foot, call out 'stop' 'foot massage' and watch things turn around. A foot massage improves the mood for everyone. Its a real treat and one that can happen every day to improve emotional and physical energy.

Like most good things it's easy to do and easy not to do. Say to yourself, ‘I am worth this, we are worth this.’ Just taking a couple of minutes to bond and shave some nice 'time out'  will bring out the best your relationship with yourself and your children.

Consistency is King and Queen

Can you imagine being a 12 month old and one day you can get away with not listening to mum and the next day you have to do what she says or she gets angry with you? Would that be confusing – to anyone for that matter?

For example, what if on Monday you wake up feeling great and every part of you feels good. Your energy field can be felt by everyone you come in contact with especially your baby. It seems as though the world is a great place you are happy and relaxed.

On Tuesday you wake up with a headache, you feel drowsy, you feel certain that you are coming down with something, you feel lethargic and have to drag yourself out of bed.

Of course you are going to feel like a different person and the way you speak to your family could be very different right? We all have days like that.

Still, your baby/toddler is wondering what is going on.  You ask her to put her toys back in the toy box but she doesn’t feel like it, yesterday you asked her to do the same thing.  Yesterday when you asked the same thing your baby smiled at you and ran away. You thought that was cute and funny. But, today you are pulling a mean face and moaning to yourself as you clank the toys back in the box saying things that don’t sound very nice.

What happened to you thinking EVERYTHING your baby does is cute and funny???

Unfortunately, like all mums you will have good days and bad days so naturally you will find it easier to see the humour in things on a good day. Still, your child gets confused if she cant rely on what you say.  Not being consistent makes it hard for her and not really fair, she doesn't understand when you will allow her to decide what to do and when you won't. Of course you aren't trying to confuse her,  you are doing your best to make her life amazing. I know that so allowing  your child to get clear on what she has to do when you ask her something makes her amazing life even easier. That’s why it is important to teach your child how to listen to you when you speak to her. Observing her is good but helping her to learn is great.

If you have shown her what you want when you ask her something she will always do it if you have always expected it to happen. She will quickly learn that when you ask her something it will not be a negotiable offer but a simple statement.

Teaching your children as early as possible, how to be a positive part of your family gives you and the child the best opportunity to avoid feeling bad a lot – about nothing. All that is happening when she is being annoying, out of control  or not listening to you is not that she is trying to be a naughty child but the inconsistent reactions from you are causing her confusion.